The following are the traits of a true secular. If you do not have at least one of these, then you are at a risk of being labelled “Communal”.
- Become a Christian by taking a holy dip in an artificial pond created behind a Church.
- Go to an Idgah and hug a Muslim man and get printed your photograph in a leading English news paper
- Come to streets to protest only when Churches are being attacked; give a statement that people are utilising a terror attack for political gains when big bomb attacks happen in the country.
- Threaten the Govt to face dire consequences if a bomber or master terror planner is hanged.
- Give excuses of post-Godhra violence even after 6 years of it, for every bomb blast or for everything that happens on moon/mars whatever!
- Protest on streets to stress Govt to frame and arrest a Hindu swamiji for some nonsensical issue.
- If born in a Hindu family, eat beef and declare that in public.
- If a Hindu, Brahmin man, marry a Christian lady, but don’t convert to her faith(!).
- Don’t complain to Human rights commission when a temple is attacked, and devotees are dead. But don’t leave the Govt. alone when a window pane of a Masjid or a church is damaged by a Hindu cleaner(!)
If you can not do any of these, don’t worry; Don't lose heart yet. You still have a bright chance to be a true "Secular". There is another easy and fascinating way!!
10. Blame Narendra Modi for everything that happens in India.